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Lando Calrissian
Steve Spielberg / Bill Curtis / Whoopi Goldberg
Charles Bishop Weyland / Prof. Dumb McNerd / Mrs. 9000 / Mr. Orange
HAL 9000
Al Ian
Jean Luc Picard
Mr. Wayne the Brain
Coach Bessert
Tom O'Reilly / John Wayne (voice)
Willie Burns / Big Boned Alien
Zib Zob
Crazy Black Taxi Driver
Alien #1
Alien #2
Beef Cake Alien
Planet Gilby
Aliens (voice)